Indeed In Muhammad You Have a GOOD EXAMPLE to follow ( Qur’an 33:21)
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) enjoined kind treatment and honouring of one’s wife, and he described the best of people as those who are best to their wives. He said: “The best of you are those who are the best to their wives, and I am the best of you to my wives.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 3895; Ibn Maajah, 1977; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) spoke beautiful word concerning kind treatment of one’s wife, stating that when the husband feeds his wife and puts a morsel of food in her mouth, he earns the reward of doing an act of charity. He said, “You never spend anything but you will be rewarded for it, even the morsel of food that you lift to your wife’s mouth.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6352; Muslim, 1628.
1) UNDERSTANDING THEIR JEALOUSY AND LOVE
Umm Salama – May Allah be pleased with her – narrated: she brought food in a dish of her own to the Prophet – Peace be upon him – and his companions. Seeing that, Aisha came holding a tool and broke the dish out of jealousy. Understanding the situation, the Prophet took the two halves of the dish and he (sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam) said to his companions: Eat your food, it is just the jealousy of your mother, then the Prophet took the dish of Aisha and gave it to Um Salama and gave the dish of Um Salama to Aisha.
[Sunan Al Nasai, Book 37, Hadith 3973]
[Ref: Sunan an-Nasa'i 3955]
He has also compiled an entire book within his Sunan, titled " The Book of the Kind Treatment of Women" and you can see it here : http://sunnah.com/nasai/36
It is narrated by Anas (r.a) : Every night the Prophet's wives used to collect in the house of the wife whose turn it was (for the prophet to stay with for that night). Zaynab (r.a) entered A'isha's house and the Prophet (sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam) extended his hand so A'isha (r.a) said 'She is Zaynab'. So the prophet (sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam) closed his fist and both (wives) began arguing until their voices became very loud. Abu bakr (r.a) who was passing by, heard them and said : I feel like throwing dirt in their mouths. The time for prayer had approached so the prophet (sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam) got up and left without saying anything to her (A'isha), but Abu bakr (r.a) came back and scolded A'isha (r.a) (for disturbing the prophet by her argument)
[Sahih Muslim, Hadith no. 1462]
Imam al Nawawi said : The phrase " Feel like throwing dirt (dust) in their mouths" shows or means that Abu bakr (r.a) wanted to stop their fighting because it was causing annoyance to the prophet (sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam). [Sharh Muslim : 10/39]
2) COMPLAINING TO AND CONSULTING THEM
In the year 6 Ah, Rasool (sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam) and 1400 of his Sahabas left Madinah for Makkah with the intention of performing Umrah. The kaafirs of Quraish, in their pride and evilness, prevented Muslims from entering into Makkah. Consequently, the prophet (sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam) encamped at a valley called "Al Hudaibiyyah" and signed a peace treaty with the Kaafirs of Quraish. One of the points chalked in the treaty were that there will be no more wars between them for 10 years and that Muslims should return to Makkah the following (next) year to do their pilgrimage. This was contradictory to what the Sahabaas had planned, and they were angry and offended by the terms and conditions of the treaty and deemed it an insult to them. Arabs are a men of honour and this is reflected in their original culture. Nevertheless, they were more offended as they had to enter Madinah back again without having entered Makkah. Thereafter signing the treaty, the prophet (sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam) commanded them to carry on with the rituals of Umrah at the valley itself. Thus he told them to slaughter their animals and shave their heads. They all heard him but not a single person got up to carry out his (sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam)'s order. So he (sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam) repeated the command three times and still not one sahaba got up to obey. After seeing that no one was ready to comply with the order, he (sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam) went to Umm salamah (r.a) an told her about the entire incident. Upon hearing this, umm salamah (r.a) adviced him to go out to them, without telling them anything and slaughter his animal and shave his heads in front of them to see. The prophet (sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam) took her advice and did as Ummal Momineen advised. When the sahabas saw that rasool (sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam) slaughtered his animal and shaved his head, then they all got up to follow and copy him. They helped shave each other with zeal and enthusiasm to the extent that they almost shaved the very skin.
[Sahih Al Bukhari , Hadith 2731]
Anas radhiallahu `anhu reported that there was man of Persian descent as a neighbour to the Messenger of Allah sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam and he was excellent in preparing soup (and even food). And one day he invited the Messenger of Allah (sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam) to his house. The Prophet sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam and (mother of believers only) `Aisha were seated (in their house when the neighbour came) so the Persian using hand gesture only invited the Prophet (alone) but the Prophet sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam replied (using gesture) to invite `Aisha as well.
So the neighbour said No, but only you alone (and said all of this using gesture/sign only and there was no verbal speech between them. Neither the prophet spoke nor the neighbour. So the neighbour insisted on his request thrice using gestures/signs and so did the Prophet sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam reply via gestures alone clarifying that he will not come except if `Aisha is invited to eat from the menu as well.)
So after the prophet sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam refused thrice (to go alone), the neighbour then permitted both him and `Aisha (r.a) to come.
[Ref: http://fahmalhadeeth.com/iq_of_einstein_vs_imamnasai/ ]
The Prophet – Peace be upon him – told Aisha in the long tradition of Um Zara' narrated by Al-Muslim : I am in my love and loyalty to you just like Abi Zara' and Um Zara" Aisha replied: You are dearer to me more than my father and mother, you are even more loyal and loving than Abi Zara' to Um Zara".
[Ref: Sahih Muslim, Book 31, Hadith 5998]
Hafsa, daughter of 'Abd al-Rahman b. Abu Bakr, reported that 'A'isha narrated to her that she and the Apostle of Allah (may peace be upon him) took a bath from the same vessel which contained water equal to three Mudds or thereabout.
One of these occasions is where `A'ishah was watching the Ethiopian acrobats in the in the performing mosque and the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "O Humayrâ', do you wish to watch them?"
Aisha (r.a) was caled as Humayra because she was white skinned or had rosy cheeks. It showed how beautiful she was.
5)Eating & Drinking with them with love
Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her – said: When I drink water from the pot while in menstruation period and give the pot to the Prophet – Peace be upon him – he drinks from the same place which touched my mouth, moreover, during menstruation, I was eating from the piece of meat and giving the same to the Prophet – Peace be upon him – and the Prophet puts his mouth in the same place of mine.
[Ref: Muslim – The Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – Page or number: 300; Sunan Al Nasai , 281]
6)Not Complaining of their Circumstances :
Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her – said: I was combing the hair of the Prophet – Peace be upon him – while in menstruation.
[Al-Bukhari – Book 6, Hadith 294]
It was narrated from Zaynab bint Abi Salamah that Umm Salamah said: “I got my menses when I was lying with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) under a single woollen sheet. I slipped away and put on the clothes I usually wore for menstruation. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to me, ‘Have you got your menses?’ I said, ‘Yes.’ Then he called me and made me lie with him under the same sheet.”
She said: And she told me that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to kiss her when he was fasting, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and I used to do ghusl to cleanse ourselves from janaabah from one vessel
[Narrated by Bukhari 316 , Muslim 296]
The Prophet – Peace be upon him – was telling Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her: “I know well when you are pleased or angry from me. Aisha replied: How you know that? He said: When you are pleased with me you swear by saying “By the God of Mohammad” but when you are angry you swear by saying “By the God of Ibrahim”. She said: You are right, I just desert you name. In another narration the same tradition ended by saying: “No, by the God of Ibrahim”.
7) Leaning & Sleeping in their Laps
Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her – said: the Prophet – Peace be upon him – was leaning on my lap while in menstruation and read Quran.
[ Al-Bukhari – Vol 1, Book 6, Hadith 297]
8) Going on Picnics & Accompanying Them
The Prophet – Peace be upon him – was casting lots between his wives when he wants to go out. Once, the Prophet cast a lot between his wives and the lot was the share of Aisha and Hafsa together. At night, the Prophet walks with Aisha and speaks to her. Knowing that, Hafsa told Aisha: Why don't you ride on my camel and I ride yours and see what happens? Aisha replied: okay. Then Aisha rode the camel of Hafsa while Hafsa rode the camel of Aisha. The Prophet – Peace be upon him – then went to the camel of Aisha while Hafsa riding it, greeted her and walked together until they got down. Seeing that, Aisha felt jealousy and tried to put her leg between the lemon grass and say: O my Lord, send a scorpion or a sneak to sting me, this is your Prophet and I can't say anything to him.
A similar narration wherein Aisha (R.a) says that the prophet (sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam) would cast lots between his wives if he intended to go out is mentioned in Sunan Abu Dawood, Book 12, Hadith 2138.
9) Helping them in the Household Duties
Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her – was asked about the manners of the Prophet in his home? She replied: He was helping in doing the family duties and when he hears the call of prayer he goes out.
[Ref: Bukhari, Vol 8, Book 73, Hadith 65, Book 1, Vol 11, Hadith 644 ]
Ayesha reported that the Holy Prophet used to mend his shoes, sew his clothes and work in his household just as one of you works in his own house. She also reported that he was a man among men who used to patch his clothes, milk his goats and engage himself in work.
[Ref: Tirmidhi]
10) Calming Them Down when they are Panicking
The Prophet – Peace be upon him – was putting his hand on the shoulder of his wife when she is angry and saying: "O Allah, forgive her sins, relieve her heart from rage and protect her from distress".
Another Report narrates that Sayyidah Safiyah radiallahu anha was on a journey with the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam. She was late so the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam received her while she was crying. The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam wiped her tears with his own hands and tried his utmost to calm her down
[Sunan Al Kubra, 9117]
The prophet knew that his supplications are heard, thus he makes the best use of it
11)Giving Presents and Showing Respect and Affection to their Friends
[Sahih Bukhari, Vol 5, Book 58, Hadith 166]
12) Expressing joy at their happiness
Aisha (r.a) said “I used to play with dolls in the house of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). I had friends who used to play with me. When the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came in, they would hide themselves, then he would call them to join me and play with me.”
13) Feeling Pleased when they are Glad
According to another report, she said that the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came back from the battle of Tabook or Khaybar, and there was a curtain in her alcove. The wind blew and lifted the curtain, showing some dolls with which ‘Aa’ishah was playing. He said, “What is this, O ‘Aa’ishah?” She said, “My daughters.” Among them he saw a mare with wings made of leather.” He said, ‘And what is this that I see in the midst of them?” She said, “A mare.” He said, “What is this on it?” She said, “Wings.” He said, “A mare with wings?” She said, “Have you not heard that Sulaymaan had a horse with wings?” She said, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) smiled so broadly that I could see his eyeteeth.
14) Trying the best to make them happy
It was narrated that ‘Urwah ibn al-Zubayr said: “ ‘Aa’ishah said: ‘By Allaah, I saw the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) standing at the door of my apartment when the Abyssinians were playing with their spears in the Mosque of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). He covered me with his cloak so that I could watch their games, then he stood there for my sake until I was the one who had had enough. So you should appreciate the fact that young girls like to have fun.’”
It was narrated from ‘Aa’ishah the Mother of the Believers (may Allaah be pleased with her) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to pray sitting down; he would recite Qur’aan when he was sitting down, then when there were thirty or forty aayahs left, he would stand up and recite them standing up. Then he did rukoo’, then sujood; then he would do likewise in the second rak’ah. When he had finished his prayer, he would look, and if I was awake he would talk with me, and if I was asleep he would lie down.
[Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1068]
Once the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam stared into his wife’s eyes. He was gazing at the world within his wife’s eyes. He then said to Sayyidah Aisha radiallahu anha in praise of her beauty, “How white are your eyes"
[عَنْ أَنَسِ بْنِ مَالِكٍ، أَنَّ النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ لِعَائِشَةَ ذَاتَ يَوْمٍ: «مَا أَكْثَرَ بَيَاضَ عَيْنَيْكِ»(رقم الحديث 796) Kitab Al Fawaid 796]
[Abu Daawood, Al-Albaani - Hasan Saheeh]
Aisha (r.a) narrated : Sawdah (r.a) visited us one day and sat with one leg in my room and the other in her own. I prepared a meal called Khazeerah and said to her "Eat". She refused so i took some of the food and smeared it on her face. The prophet (sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam) laughed and raised his leg which was in her part of the house in order to help her get back at me. He said to her : You smear her face (now). So she (Sawdah) took some of the food from the plate and smeared my face with it and the Prophet (sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam) laughed.
Khazeerah : a dish prepared by cutting meat into small pieces and covering it with water. When the meat is almost done, some flour is sprinkled on to it and cooked for a while.
[Sunan Al Nasaee, hadith no. 8197, It was collected by Abu Ya'la with a good narration (4496) . According to its researcher - Hussain Muslim, the narration is Hasan and something similar is recorded in Majma'a az Zayid by Al Haythamee (4/316). He said ' It was narrated by Abu Ya'la whose narrators were sound except Muhammad ibn Umar whose hadith is hasan]
Related read: the issue of our prophet contemplating on divorcing sawdah r.a and the controversies spewed by islamaphobics on this topic are addressed here: http://icraa.org/the-prophets-conduct-with-his-wife-sawdah-the-issue-of-divorce/
[Ahmad, Safwat al Safwah Vol I p68]
17) SAVING THEM FROM ANY HARM
[Related by Musnad Ahmad 17927 , graded as Hasan - See the book of Dr. Ghazi al Shammari pg. 33 and Sahih ligayrihi by Albaani]
Table of contents
1) UNDERSTANDING THEIR JEALOUSY AND LOVE
2) COMPLAINING TO AND CONSULTING THEM
3) Demonstrating his Love & Loyalty to them
4) Choosing the Best Nicknames to them :
5) Choosing the Best Nicknames for them :
6) Eating & Drinking with them with love
7) Not Complaining of their Circumstances :
8) Leaning & Sleeping in their Laps
9) Going on Picnics & Accompanying Them
10) Helping them in the Household Duties
11) Calming Them Down when they are Panicking
12) Giving Presents and Showing Respect and Affection to their Friends
13) Expressing joy at their happiness
14) Feeling Pleased when they are Glad
15) Trying the best to make them happy
16) TREATING EACH ONE OF THEM EQUALLY
17) RACING AND PLAYING WITH THEM
18) SAVING THEM FROM ANY HARM
19) Consoling and forgiving them in major issues
1) UNDERSTANDING THEIR JEALOUSY AND LOVE
Umm Salama – May Allah be pleased with her – narrated: she brought food in a dish of her own to the Prophet – Peace be upon him – and his companions. Seeing that, Aisha came holding a tool and broke the dish out of jealousy. Understanding the situation, the Prophet took the two halves of the dish and he (sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam) said to his companions: Eat your food, it is just the jealousy of your mother, then the Prophet took the dish of Aisha and gave it to Um Salama and gave the dish of Um Salama to Aisha.
[Sunan Al Nasai, Book 37, Hadith 3973]
It was narrated that 'Aishah said:
"I never saw any woman who made food like Safiyyah. She sent a dish to the Prophet in which was some food, and I could not keep myself from breaking it (due to jealousy). I asked the Prophet what the expiation was for that, and he said: 'A dish like that dish, and food like that food.
[Ref: Sunan an-Nasa'i 3957]
"The Prophet was with one of the Mothers of the Believers when another one sent a wooden bowl in which was some food. She struck the hand of the Prophet and the bowl fell and broke. The Prophet picked up the two pieces and put them together, then he started to gather up the food and said: 'Your mother got jealous; eat.' So they ate. He waited until she brought the wooden bowl that was in her house, then he gave the sound bowl to the messenger and left the broken bowl in the house of the one who had broken it."
[Ref: Sunan an-Nasa'i 3955]
Imaam an-Nasaa'ee has written an entire chapter on Jealousy in his Sunan. You can see it here : http://sunnah.com/nasai/36#21
He has also compiled an entire book within his Sunan, titled " The Book of the Kind Treatment of Women" and you can see it here : http://sunnah.com/nasai/36
It is narrated by Anas (r.a) : Every night the Prophet's wives used to collect in the house of the wife whose turn it was (for the prophet to stay with for that night). Zaynab (r.a) entered A'isha's house and the Prophet (sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam) extended his hand so A'isha (r.a) said 'She is Zaynab'. So the prophet (sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam) closed his fist and both (wives) began arguing until their voices became very loud. Abu bakr (r.a) who was passing by, heard them and said : I feel like throwing dirt in their mouths. The time for prayer had approached so the prophet (sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam) got up and left without saying anything to her (A'isha), but Abu bakr (r.a) came back and scolded A'isha (r.a) (for disturbing the prophet by her argument)
[Sahih Muslim, Hadith no. 1462]
Imam al Nawawi said : The phrase " Feel like throwing dirt (dust) in their mouths" shows or means that Abu bakr (r.a) wanted to stop their fighting because it was causing annoyance to the prophet (sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam). [Sharh Muslim : 10/39]
2) COMPLAINING TO AND CONSULTING THEM
In the year 6 Ah, Rasool (sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam) and 1400 of his Sahabas left Madinah for Makkah with the intention of performing Umrah. The kaafirs of Quraish, in their pride and evilness, prevented Muslims from entering into Makkah. Consequently, the prophet (sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam) encamped at a valley called "Al Hudaibiyyah" and signed a peace treaty with the Kaafirs of Quraish. One of the points chalked in the treaty were that there will be no more wars between them for 10 years and that Muslims should return to Makkah the following (next) year to do their pilgrimage. This was contradictory to what the Sahabaas had planned, and they were angry and offended by the terms and conditions of the treaty and deemed it an insult to them. Arabs are a men of honour and this is reflected in their original culture. Nevertheless, they were more offended as they had to enter Madinah back again without having entered Makkah. Thereafter signing the treaty, the prophet (sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam) commanded them to carry on with the rituals of Umrah at the valley itself. Thus he told them to slaughter their animals and shave their heads. They all heard him but not a single person got up to carry out his (sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam)'s order. So he (sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam) repeated the command three times and still not one sahaba got up to obey. After seeing that no one was ready to comply with the order, he (sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam) went to Umm salamah (r.a) an told her about the entire incident. Upon hearing this, umm salamah (r.a) adviced him to go out to them, without telling them anything and slaughter his animal and shave his heads in front of them to see. The prophet (sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam) took her advice and did as Ummal Momineen advised. When the sahabas saw that rasool (sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam) slaughtered his animal and shaved his head, then they all got up to follow and copy him. They helped shave each other with zeal and enthusiasm to the extent that they almost shaved the very skin.
[Sahih Al Bukhari , Hadith 2731]
[See also: Al-Bidaaya Wan-Nihaaya by Ibn Kathir Vol. 4, p. 178 and Fath Al Bari - Ibn Hajar - 5/347]
3) Demonstrating his Love & Loyalty to them
Anas radhiallahu `anhu reported that there was man of Persian descent as a neighbour to the Messenger of Allah sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam and he was excellent in preparing soup (and even food). And one day he invited the Messenger of Allah (sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam) to his house. The Prophet sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam and (mother of believers only) `Aisha were seated (in their house when the neighbour came) so the Persian using hand gesture only invited the Prophet (alone) but the Prophet sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam replied (using gesture) to invite `Aisha as well.
So the neighbour said No, but only you alone (and said all of this using gesture/sign only and there was no verbal speech between them. Neither the prophet spoke nor the neighbour. So the neighbour insisted on his request thrice using gestures/signs and so did the Prophet sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam reply via gestures alone clarifying that he will not come except if `Aisha is invited to eat from the menu as well.)
So after the prophet sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam refused thrice (to go alone), the neighbour then permitted both him and `Aisha (r.a) to come.
[Ref: http://fahmalhadeeth.com/iq_of_einstein_vs_imamnasai/ ]
The Prophet – Peace be upon him – told Aisha in the long tradition of Um Zara' narrated by Al-Muslim : I am in my love and loyalty to you just like Abi Zara' and Um Zara" Aisha replied: You are dearer to me more than my father and mother, you are even more loyal and loving than Abi Zara' to Um Zara".
[Ref: Sahih Muslim, Book 31, Hadith 5998]
This is a long but beautiful hadith. It describes the event that some women were cribbing about their husbands , so on and so forth and then one women praised her husband (who divorced her later) in such an outstanding way that prophet (sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam) in a romantic gesture compared his love to his. I strongly recommend you read the entire hadith at : http://sunnah.com/urn/259980
Hafsa, daughter of 'Abd al-Rahman b. Abu Bakr, reported that 'A'isha narrated to her that she and the Apostle of Allah (may peace be upon him) took a bath from the same vessel which contained water equal to three Mudds or thereabout.
[Ref: Sahih Muslim, Book 3, Hadith 628]
4) Choosing the Best Nicknames for them :
One of these occasions is where `A'ishah was watching the Ethiopian acrobats in the in the performing mosque and the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "O Humayrâ', do you wish to watch them?"
[Sunan al-Nasaee Al Kubra (5/307)]
Aisha (r.a) was caled as Humayra because she was white skinned or had rosy cheeks. It showed how beautiful she was.
In another narration, Even though prophet (sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam) had a lot of other important works to do, he asked Aisha (r.a) if she wished to see the ethiopians perform their art, and when she said yes, then prophet (sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam) covered her and stood covering her so that she could watch as long as she pleased.
[Musnad Ahmad,26358]
Please note that all the narrations which mentions or addresses Aisha (r.a) s Humayra are fabricated or Da'eef except the one mentioned above in Al Nasaee and this was the aqwaal of Hafidh Al Mizzi which was further corrected by Ibn Kathir.
5)Eating & Drinking with them with love
Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her – said: When I drink water from the pot while in menstruation period and give the pot to the Prophet – Peace be upon him – he drinks from the same place which touched my mouth, moreover, during menstruation, I was eating from the piece of meat and giving the same to the Prophet – Peace be upon him – and the Prophet puts his mouth in the same place of mine.
[Ref: Muslim – The Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – Page or number: 300; Sunan Al Nasai , 281]
6)Not Complaining of their Circumstances :
Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her – said: I was combing the hair of the Prophet – Peace be upon him – while in menstruation.
[Al-Bukhari – Book 6, Hadith 294]
It was narrated from Zaynab bint Abi Salamah that Umm Salamah said: “I got my menses when I was lying with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) under a single woollen sheet. I slipped away and put on the clothes I usually wore for menstruation. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to me, ‘Have you got your menses?’ I said, ‘Yes.’ Then he called me and made me lie with him under the same sheet.”
She said: And she told me that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to kiss her when he was fasting, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and I used to do ghusl to cleanse ourselves from janaabah from one vessel
[Narrated by Bukhari 316 , Muslim 296]
The Prophet – Peace be upon him – was telling Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her: “I know well when you are pleased or angry from me. Aisha replied: How you know that? He said: When you are pleased with me you swear by saying “By the God of Mohammad” but when you are angry you swear by saying “By the God of Ibrahim”. She said: You are right, I just desert you name. In another narration the same tradition ended by saying: “No, by the God of Ibrahim”.
[Sahih Muslim, Book 31, Hadith 5979]
7) Leaning & Sleeping in their Laps
Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her – said: the Prophet – Peace be upon him – was leaning on my lap while in menstruation and read Quran.
[ Al-Bukhari – Vol 1, Book 6, Hadith 297]
8) Going on Picnics & Accompanying Them
The Prophet – Peace be upon him – was casting lots between his wives when he wants to go out. Once, the Prophet cast a lot between his wives and the lot was the share of Aisha and Hafsa together. At night, the Prophet walks with Aisha and speaks to her. Knowing that, Hafsa told Aisha: Why don't you ride on my camel and I ride yours and see what happens? Aisha replied: okay. Then Aisha rode the camel of Hafsa while Hafsa rode the camel of Aisha. The Prophet – Peace be upon him – then went to the camel of Aisha while Hafsa riding it, greeted her and walked together until they got down. Seeing that, Aisha felt jealousy and tried to put her leg between the lemon grass and say: O my Lord, send a scorpion or a sneak to sting me, this is your Prophet and I can't say anything to him.
[Sahih Muslim, Book 31, Hadith 5991]
A similar narration wherein Aisha (R.a) says that the prophet (sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam) would cast lots between his wives if he intended to go out is mentioned in Sunan Abu Dawood, Book 12, Hadith 2138.
9) Helping them in the Household Duties
Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her – was asked about the manners of the Prophet in his home? She replied: He was helping in doing the family duties and when he hears the call of prayer he goes out.
[Ref: Bukhari, Vol 8, Book 73, Hadith 65, Book 1, Vol 11, Hadith 644 ]
Ayesha reported that the Holy Prophet used to mend his shoes, sew his clothes and work in his household just as one of you works in his own house. She also reported that he was a man among men who used to patch his clothes, milk his goats and engage himself in work.
[Ref: Tirmidhi]
10) Calming Them Down when they are Panicking
The Prophet – Peace be upon him – was putting his hand on the shoulder of his wife when she is angry and saying: "O Allah, forgive her sins, relieve her heart from rage and protect her from distress".
Another Report narrates that Sayyidah Safiyah radiallahu anha was on a journey with the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam. She was late so the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam received her while she was crying. The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam wiped her tears with his own hands and tried his utmost to calm her down
[Sunan Al Kubra, 9117]
The prophet knew that his supplications are heard, thus he makes the best use of it
11)Giving Presents and Showing Respect and Affection to their Friends
Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her – said: I have not ever been jealous of any woman more than Khadijah in spite of not seeing her. The Prophet – Peace be upon him – was slaughtering the sheep and says: Send it to the friends of Khadijah". One day I made him angry; I told him: Why Khadijah! The Prophet – Peace be upon him – said: "I was endowed with her love". Another narration for this tradition ended in the story of the sheep without the remainder.
[Sahih Bukhari, Vol 5, Book 58, Hadith 166]
12) Expressing joy at their happiness
Aisha (r.a) said “I used to play with dolls in the house of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). I had friends who used to play with me. When the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came in, they would hide themselves, then he would call them to join me and play with me.”
[Bukhari 8:73:151 & Muslim]
Note : Al-Haafidh Ibn Hajar said in Fath al-Baaree (Fath al-Baaree, no. 6130, Kitaab: al-Adab, Baab: al-Inbisaat ilaa an-Naas): This Hadith has been used as a proof for the permissibility of possessing (suwar - of) dolls and toys for the purpose of the little girls playing with them. This has been especially exempted from the general prohibition of possession of images (suwar).
13) Feeling Pleased when they are Glad
According to another report, she said that the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came back from the battle of Tabook or Khaybar, and there was a curtain in her alcove. The wind blew and lifted the curtain, showing some dolls with which ‘Aa’ishah was playing. He said, “What is this, O ‘Aa’ishah?” She said, “My daughters.” Among them he saw a mare with wings made of leather.” He said, ‘And what is this that I see in the midst of them?” She said, “A mare.” He said, “What is this on it?” She said, “Wings.” He said, “A mare with wings?” She said, “Have you not heard that Sulaymaan had a horse with wings?” She said, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) smiled so broadly that I could see his eyeteeth.
[Sunan Abu Dawood 4932]
14) Trying the best to make them happy
It was narrated that ‘Urwah ibn al-Zubayr said: “ ‘Aa’ishah said: ‘By Allaah, I saw the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) standing at the door of my apartment when the Abyssinians were playing with their spears in the Mosque of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). He covered me with his cloak so that I could watch their games, then he stood there for my sake until I was the one who had had enough. So you should appreciate the fact that young girls like to have fun.’”
[ Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 443; Muslim, 892 ]
Aisha (r.a) reported: It was the day of celebration and the Abyssinians were playing with shields and spears; either I asked the Prophet or he asked me whether I would like to watch. I said yes. Then the Prophet made me stand behind him while my cheek was touching his cheek and he was saying, “Carry on, O Banu Arfida,” until I became tired. The Prophet asked me, “Are you satisfied?” I said yes, so I left.
[Sahih Bukhari, Book 15, Number 70]
It was narrated from ‘Aa’ishah the Mother of the Believers (may Allaah be pleased with her) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to pray sitting down; he would recite Qur’aan when he was sitting down, then when there were thirty or forty aayahs left, he would stand up and recite them standing up. Then he did rukoo’, then sujood; then he would do likewise in the second rak’ah. When he had finished his prayer, he would look, and if I was awake he would talk with me, and if I was asleep he would lie down.
[Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1068]
Once the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam stared into his wife’s eyes. He was gazing at the world within his wife’s eyes. He then said to Sayyidah Aisha radiallahu anha in praise of her beauty, “How white are your eyes"
[عَنْ أَنَسِ بْنِ مَالِكٍ، أَنَّ النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ لِعَائِشَةَ ذَاتَ يَوْمٍ: «مَا أَكْثَرَ بَيَاضَ عَيْنَيْكِ»(رقم الحديث 796) Kitab Al Fawaid 796]
15) TREATING EACH ONE OF THEM EQUALLY
The Prophet would treat us fairly with regard to staying with us. He would visit all of us every day and approach each one of us without having sexual intercourse with any one of us, then go to the one with whom he would spend the night and stay with her. When Sawdah bint Zam‘ah became old and was afraid that the Prophet might leave her, she said, “O Messenger of Allaah, I will give up my day to ‘Aa’ishah.” The Prophet agreed. She said that for this case and similar ones, Allaah The Almighty Says (what means):{And if a woman fears from her husband contempt or evasion.} [Quran 4:128]”
The Prophet would treat us fairly with regard to staying with us. He would visit all of us every day and approach each one of us without having sexual intercourse with any one of us, then go to the one with whom he would spend the night and stay with her. When Sawdah bint Zam‘ah became old and was afraid that the Prophet might leave her, she said, “O Messenger of Allaah, I will give up my day to ‘Aa’ishah.” The Prophet agreed. She said that for this case and similar ones, Allaah The Almighty Says (what means):{And if a woman fears from her husband contempt or evasion.} [Quran 4:128]”
[Abu Daawood, Al-Albaani - Hasan Saheeh]
Aisha (r.a) narrated : Sawdah (r.a) visited us one day and sat with one leg in my room and the other in her own. I prepared a meal called Khazeerah and said to her "Eat". She refused so i took some of the food and smeared it on her face. The prophet (sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam) laughed and raised his leg which was in her part of the house in order to help her get back at me. He said to her : You smear her face (now). So she (Sawdah) took some of the food from the plate and smeared my face with it and the Prophet (sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam) laughed.
Khazeerah : a dish prepared by cutting meat into small pieces and covering it with water. When the meat is almost done, some flour is sprinkled on to it and cooked for a while.
[Sunan Al Nasaee, hadith no. 8197, It was collected by Abu Ya'la with a good narration (4496) . According to its researcher - Hussain Muslim, the narration is Hasan and something similar is recorded in Majma'a az Zayid by Al Haythamee (4/316). He said ' It was narrated by Abu Ya'la whose narrators were sound except Muhammad ibn Umar whose hadith is hasan]
Related read: the issue of our prophet contemplating on divorcing sawdah r.a and the controversies spewed by islamaphobics on this topic are addressed here: http://icraa.org/the-prophets-conduct-with-his-wife-sawdah-the-issue-of-divorce/
16) RACING AND PLAYING WITH THEM
Aisha radiallaahu 'anhaa said: That she accompanied the Prophet on a certain journey. At that time she was a mere girl and was neither fat nor bulky. The Prophet asked the people to move on, and they marched ahead. Then the Prophet said to me, 'Come on, let us have a race'. Aisha says that she ran and remained much ahead of him. The Prophet kept quiet for some time. Later on when Aisha grew fat and loose bodied, she forgot the previous incident. Again she accompanied the Prophet on some journey. The Prophet again asked the people to march ahead, and they moved ahead. Then the Prophet again asked her to have a race with him. This time the prophet defeated her and she lagged behind. Now the prophet laughed and said, 'This is in reply to our previous defeat'
Aisha radiallaahu 'anhaa said: That she accompanied the Prophet on a certain journey. At that time she was a mere girl and was neither fat nor bulky. The Prophet asked the people to move on, and they marched ahead. Then the Prophet said to me, 'Come on, let us have a race'. Aisha says that she ran and remained much ahead of him. The Prophet kept quiet for some time. Later on when Aisha grew fat and loose bodied, she forgot the previous incident. Again she accompanied the Prophet on some journey. The Prophet again asked the people to march ahead, and they moved ahead. Then the Prophet again asked her to have a race with him. This time the prophet defeated her and she lagged behind. Now the prophet laughed and said, 'This is in reply to our previous defeat'
[Ahmad, Safwat al Safwah Vol I p68]
[Abu Dawood, Book 14, Hadith 2572]
[Ibn Majah , Hadith no. 2010, Sound by Albani in Irwa]
17) SAVING THEM FROM ANY HARM
عَنِ النُّعْمَانِ بْنِ بَشِيرٍ قَالَ جَاءَ أَبُو بَكْرٍ يَسْتَأْذِنُ عَلَى النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَسَمِعَ عَائِشَةَ وَهِيَ رَافِعَةٌ صَوْتَهَا عَلَى رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَأَذِنَ لَهُ فَدَخَلَ فَقَالَ يَا ابْنَةَ أُمِّ رُومَانَ وَتَنَاوَلَهَا أَتَرْفَعِينَ صَوْتَكِ عَلَى رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ فَحَالَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ بَيْنَهُ وَبَيْنَهَا قَالَ فَلَمَّا خَرَجَ أَبُو بَكْرٍ جَعَلَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يَقُولُ لَهَا يَتَرَضَّاهَا أَلَا تَرَيْنَ أَنِّي قَدْ حُلْتُ بَيْنَ الرَّجُلِ وَبَيْنَكِ قَالَ ثُمَّ جَاءَ أَبُو بَكْرٍ فَاسْتَأْذَنَ عَلَيْهِ فَوَجَدَهُ يُضَاحِكُهَا قَالَ فَأَذِنَ لَهُ فَدَخَلَ فَقَالَ لَهُ أَبُو بَكْرٍ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ أَشْرِكَانِي فِي سِلْمِكُمَا كَمَا أَشْرَكْتُمَانِي فِي حَرْبِكُمَاNu’man ibn Basheer reported: Abu Bakr came seeking permission to enter upon the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, and he heard Aisha raising her voice over the Messenger of Allah. He entered and said, “O daughter of Umm Ruman! Are you raising your voice over the Messenger of Allah?” So the Prophet stood between them and when Abu Bakr left, he said to her, “Do you see how I saved you from him?” Then Abu Bakr again sought permission to enter upon the Prophet and he heard them both laughing. He entered and said, “O Messenger of Allah, allow me to share in your peace just as you have allowed me to share in your conflict.”
[Related by Musnad Ahmad 17927 , graded as Hasan - See the book of Dr. Ghazi al Shammari pg. 33 and Sahih ligayrihi by Albaani]
18) Consoling and forgiving them in major issues
The incident of Ifk wherein some people fabricated a lie to slander our mother `aisha (R.a) by spreading false tales against her adjoining her with another man. The incident is very lengthy and the rumours spread like wild fire in the city of madeenah. Despite the immense hurt and pain it caused the prophet (sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam) he came and said :
O ‘Aaishah, such and such [accusations regarding you] have come to my notice. If you are innocent then Allah will soon declare your innocence and if you did commit this sin then seek Allah’s forgiveness and repent, for verily when a servant confesses and repents, Allah will forgive him…”
[Ref: Sahih Bukhari, Hadith: 2661 and 4141, Sahih Muslim, Hadith: 2770)]
1. Defending the marriage of Aisha (r.a) with the Prophet (s.a.w) at the age of nine in the light of modern science and comparative religion
2.
3. Also see a detailed book written by Dr. Ghazi al Shammari: Prophet Muhammad, the best of Husbands
4. Also see the refute and reply to those who mock and accuse the prophet (s.a.w) of heinous intentions for marrying so many wives. Learn the counter and background of these marriages from Dr. Muhammad 'Ali al Sabooni
5. THE RIGHTS OF WOMEN IN ISLAM : SOMETHING WHICH NO RELIGION HAS AND NO COUNTRY HAD BEFORE A FEW DECADES
(ii) http://d1.islamhouse.com/data/en/ih_articles/single/en_womens_rights.pdf
(iii) Clearing the Misconceptions about Women in Islam
These are only a few narrations that i could collect with references. May Allah forgive me for any discrepancies in this article and have mercy on the one who corrects me.
Awesome blog, i really like it
ReplyDeleteBarakallahu feek. Do share in sha allah
Deletethat is a lesson for the Muslims of the era to learn how to treat their wives
ReplyDeleteJaZZak Allah khair
ReplyDeleteI searched Sahih Muslim, Hadith no. 1462 ref on google but it does not talk about jealousy rather it talks about prayers ????
ReplyDeletesearching on google?! anyways, here is the link : http://sunnah.com/muslim/17/61
DeleteSeeing every hadith backed up by complete reference distinguishes this article from other such articles. I found this article best amidst the searched results. Please do check http://muslimahbloggers.com/why-i-love-him/ Currently working on next part of the series "The perfect husband" Your article has been most helpful on this subject. Jazak Allahul khair.
ReplyDeleteSeeing every hadith backed up by complete reference distinguishes this article from other such articles. I found this article best amidst the searched results. Please do check http://muslimahbloggers.com/why-i-love-him/ Currently working on next part of the series "The perfect husband" Your article has been most helpful on this subject. Jazak Allahul khair.
ReplyDeletewaiyyaki; barakallahu feeki
Delete